I read this whole text as an elaborate summary of a failed life. Sophisticated terminology makes it look almost serious or even authoritative. Having read the whole story, I still don’t know what to do. Shall I break apart with my beloved pre-emptively? Shall we go to a therapy session because, clearly, our happy days are a product of self-illusion? Shall we sit down to talk through our relationship because we have too many positive experiences in it?
What if… the “perfect” relationship is not a destination, but a journey in itself?
Also, for the modern mind, some constraints would be welcome and an overview of the opportunities dependent on the environmental conditions. In a small commune, there is not much choice. People find their partners from what is available and, maybe owing to this natural scarcity of love stories, do their best to simply live happily, refraining from myths. Falling in love, in the “archetypical” sense of worship of the other, is a great experience. The whole life changes, the need of sleep diminishes, senses work more acutely, perception is more focused on the inner world, physical food becomes almost unnecessary, hardest stupidity of the acting mind gives way to actually living through and experiencing the flow of life/love.
There is a transformation, an alchemy of “daily” life into a mystery. We call it “falling” in love because it is an abyss. The most romantic books fail to hint what this phenomenon does to the individual. It is like two droplets of water put close to each other. A fraction of an inch closer, and their physical boundaries open up and join in a truly magical union. For a physician, surface tension changes just enough to make 1+1=1. A beautiful representation of what happens when you are truly in love. Surface tension changes. Only at the place of the connection, not anywhere else. The world is as it was before, but the door has opened to allow a very unique “other” in. Now the Love may begin.
Mistaking this magic moment for some mind-produced myth is sad. Myths are created by those who have not experienced this magic. If you really are in love and your inner world is alive for the first time, you don’t need words or stories. There is nothing to say. Everything is and you are in this fusion of two separate beings into one.
This is a very subtle experience, one that the “society” knows very little about. We hate to see it. Whenever you see a couple melting into each other, you rush to save them: “don’t fall in love, he/she will betray you”, “what do you see in him/her?”, “who are his/her parents?”, “don’t go to bed with him/her”, “what will neighbors say?”, “love is not enough, you need good work”, “what about school?”… We love to destroy these magical moments - because very very few of us has experienced them. But we feel within this power, and we know that this fusion is more important than anything else. That’s why we will go to extreme lengths to kill it in the bud. We poison this magical melting of love with love with thinking, theories, myths, gossip, plans for the future, warnings, threats…
We are so helpless about the magic of love that we must make sure to destroy it early on, when it is fresh, right before the two become one that is so strong that the world has to surrender.
And we succeed. These are very inexperienced souls, they will easily allow doubt, they will let parental or moral authority to destroy this indescribable experience. If it happens, they will long to these moments of fusion throughout their loves, all the time living with the fear that it will crumble anyway. The end result you can see everywhere: the world full of empty shells pretending to be living beings.
I’m almost speechless! You have beautifully and elegantly critiqued this post. That special “magical” love between a man and a woman is a divine gift. My wife and I, “high school sweethearts”, in just a few weeks will have been together for 46 years (married for 40 years). Every aspect of our relationship is better today than it was when we first met ... every aspect! Over nearly half a century, we have lived through all manner of unbelievable trial and tribulation. I still maintain that my greatest worldly blessing is my precious bride (always my girlfriend)! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!!
Your a lucky man, I have many in my family same-same the reason for ALL is that in all cases the kids came from DYSFUNCTIONAL familys and early on the partners made a vow to stick it out and give their children that which THEY NEVER HAD, a long term loving home.
Seems that the leading cause of 'relationship failure' is restless men & women, hard to say who is worse the tramp women who want to sleep around or the men who want to fuck around;
It takes a special couple to have an honest conversation about their future;
Also early on with my first wife, I learned quite well that even then it's a crap-shoot;
I recall when me&my first wife split up I asked her, "Why are you doing this, I thought it was forever, you promised", to which she cleverly replied "Promise are made to be Broken"
So how on god's earth can you make a vow or pledge with such a woman or man, who goes in with the intention of never keeping a pledge;
Again its a crap shoot, try to find same-same socio-economic, and all other factors;
People get bored, especially women, and men get bored when their wives start paying more attention to the kids;
I have seen a lot of relationships fail +50 when the kids are gone and couples are left home alone, and one of them decides to be an alley-cat;
There is no logistics, certainly most men&women aren't wired for monogamy on the long term;
Prior to the 1950's the USA black family had the lowest rate of divorce said to have been 97% success; Today 70% of black children live in father-less homes, the USA US-GOV welfare system destroyed the black family; But what made it work so well before it was destroyed??
“But what made it work so well before it was destroyed??”
Marriage is a covenant before and with GOD. Just as with our Constitution, remove God, destroy the foundation. No structure can stand without a firm foundation.
46 years x 2 = 92 years of this unique experience - almost eternity in the age of text message dating. You are the blessed ones. That is so rare these days. Love to you both.
Aliens did not come down and warp human experience. What you see currently and throughout history is what humans do when being human. Your view of love may work for you, yet countless others beg to differ, and for good reason.
True, and this is the beauty of our experience of lifetime in this time and place. Everyone can interpret the life through his/her own perception and cognitive limits.
For the sake of the argument, our history extends 2-4 generations back. Everything “older” is only speculation based on records of artifacts which we cannot verify in any way other than comparing against other records or artifacts - which is basically insane :-)
As for aliens… whether they exist or not, and what they are, we have no idea and we cannot even guess. Maybe we are aliens in some evolved or corrupted form, who knows.
Finally, I didn’t say a word about love as an experience. My comment was on the labeling mechanism of the mind. We tend to be very uneasy in the presence of that which we are unable to name and, consequently, to assign some characteristics “known” to us. It’s one of the strongest foundations of all biases.
Experience is very very rare. We spend most of our time projecting our internal structures on others, manipulating others to fit our imagination of the world, or zigzaging between what we desire and what is socially acceptable. Ask Madoff, Enron, Ponzi, FTX, Theranos, AIG, Lehman and other paragons of virtues.
The mechanism of falling in love (and the related “love story”) of human beings is too complex to serve reproduction purposes. It seems to work on more layers. One of the most important is the alienation of the two persons from their cozy nests, or placing them at the starting point to create their own life paths. Another is the natural initiation into the spiritual realm where things are not what they seem, and multiple parallel meanings. Yet another is the opening of the insight sense, or the ability to “see through” other people and circumstances. Biology alone doesn’t need it.
Well, we don’t know that, either. Is the body biological? Definitely, no. It is more. But what exactly is it? We don’t know, because we only can perceive the world through about two dozen senses that we are able to verbalize.
What do we miss? Apart from the obvious physical realms (electrical, magnetic), the most important stuff - the life mystery. We cannot even think about it, because our minds are not wired (or developed enough, or developed too much) to perceive anything smaller than say 0.5 mm. We cannot even perceive a huge natural phenomenon of fog, it disables all our senses right away.
As for the spiritual, it’s another name formed by the mind to call something that escapes the mind. It seems we are good at naming that which we cannot get hold of.
I like the saying that if you can put a label on something, it certainly is not what you think it is. Or, the “experience” starts only when you do not even try to find a name. And ends when you finally affix the name on it. Like with love, which ends when you say “I love you” - the experience dissipates, and the mind is clinging to it and naming it to have some reference when “it” is no more here.
“It’s like the saying that if you can put a label on something, it certainly is not what you think it is.”
A photograph of the magnificent Himalayas from Mount Everest base camp does not capture the incomprehensible beauty and grandeur of that moment and that place. It’s merely a visual time stamp.
I'd go way farther. We "love" to use words of unreachable experience: you are the love of my life (until I meet another), isn’t it beautiful, selfless, unconditional love (suggesting grades of love), great war (great in what?), great depression (oh, yes, it was), we’ll do it exactly because it cannot be done, no room for error, we’re all in this together, and more. All “great” speakers use these in their “great” speeches - they know our mind doesn’t have a clue what this is about, but it’s attractive, catchy, and offers a promise of becoming what others don’t even dream of. Comprehensible ugliness of blatant exploitation of the innocent. To get what we want at any cost, we even use Santa in our falsification of reality. And Copernicus, Darwin, Einstein, Freud, Plato, Shakespeare, Dante, Jung, you name it. We don’t discriminate when we want to cheat on those whom we perceive “inferior”.
Language is a fascinating tool that can make the observer more attentive and more aware and/or dumber and more isolated from reality, all in the same phrase. When there is no living awareness in the body, words won’t help, that “person” will always fall victim. With awareness awakened, experience and assessment come even before words are formulated, and then nobody can convince you or persuade you - the instinctive impression will always win and will be 100% accurate most of the time.
Excuse the title, but women need to kiss a lot of frogs to find their prince, and poor pathetic men need to crawl into lots of smelly black holes to find their princess
As to WHY most relationships fail? Its because of 'expectations' and the solution is in the comments;
I SUGGEST VIEWERS OF THE ACADEMY OF IDEAS’ LIMITED, NEGATIVE PERSPECTIVE OF ROMANTIC LOVE READ THE BEST BOOK ON IT BY NATHANIEL BRANDEN: “THE PSYCHOLOGY OF ROMANTIC LOVE” AND THUS WILL NOT HAVE TO SUBSTITUTE AN IMAGINARY GOD FOR REAL HUMANITY AS THE AOI RECOMMENDS (WRONGLY, TO ME AS A HUMANIST AND PRACTITIONER OF ROMANTIC LOVE AS DEFINED BY BRANDEN).
“Let me state at the outset that I am writing from the conviction that romantic love is not a fantasy or an aberration but one of the great possibilities of our existence, one of the great adventures, and one of the great challenges. I am writing from the conviction that ecstasy is one of the normal factors of our emotional life, or can be.
I do not see romantic love as the prerogative of youth. Nor do I see it as some kind of immature ideal, inappropriately adapted from literature, that must crumble in the face of ‘practical reality.’ I do see romantic love as requiring more of us, in terms of our personal evolution and maturity, than we generally appreciate. Indeed, that is one of the central themes of this book.
“I shall argue that romantic love, rationally understood, is not an unattainable dream, an adolescent fantasy, or a literary invention. It is an ideal within our power to reach. But to reach it, we must first understand what love asks of us.
“Many of the commonest criticisms of romantic love are based on observing irrational or immature processes occurring between persons who profess to be ‘in love,’ and then generalizing to a repudiation of romantic love as such. In such cases, the arguments are not in fact directed against romantic love at all—not if one understands by romantic love ‘a passionate spiritual-emotional-sexual attachment between a man and a woman that reflects a high regard for the value of each other’s person.’
“Romantic love is not omnipotent—and those who believe it is are too immature to be ready for it. Given the multitude of psychological problems that many people bring to a romantic relationship—given their doubts, their fears, their insecurities, their weak and uncertain self-esteem; given the fact that most have never learned that a love relationship, like every other value in life, requires consciousness, courage, knowledge, and wisdom to be sustained—it is not astonishing that most ‘romantic’ relationships end disappointingly. But to indict romantic love on these grounds is to imply that if ‘love is not enough’—if love of and by itself cannot indefinitely sustain happiness and fulfillment— then it is somehow in the wrong, is a delusion, even a neurosis. Surely the error lies, not in the ideal of romantic love but in the irrational and impossible demands made of it.
“Romantic love is not a myth, waiting to be discarded but, for most of us, a discovery, waiting to be born.
“So we need to rethink our understanding of romantic love: what it means, what kind of experience it affords, what needs it fulfills, and what conditions it depends on. We need to see it of and by itself, as a unique encounter between man and woman, a unique experience and a unique adventure—possibly but not necessarily involving marriage, possibly but not necessarily involving children, possibly but not necessarily involving sexual exclusivity, possibly but not necessarily involving ‘till death do us part.’
“As we stand at this moment in history, we are in a state of crisis with regard to romantic love, not because the ideal is irrational but because we are still in the process of grasping its meaning, still in the process of understanding its philosophical presuppositions and its psychological requirements.”
From The Psychology of Romantic Love by Nathaniel Branden
THEN ADD THIS, THE LESSON OF LOSS, TO ROMANTIC LOVE:
“The reality is that all relationships inevitably will be dissolved and broken. The ultimate price exacted for commitment to other human beings rests in the inescapable fact that loss and pain will be experienced when they are gone...It is a toll that no one can escape, and a price that everyone will be forced to pay repeatedly.”
From A Cry Unheard: New Insights into the Medical Consequences of Loneliness
And…?
I read this whole text as an elaborate summary of a failed life. Sophisticated terminology makes it look almost serious or even authoritative. Having read the whole story, I still don’t know what to do. Shall I break apart with my beloved pre-emptively? Shall we go to a therapy session because, clearly, our happy days are a product of self-illusion? Shall we sit down to talk through our relationship because we have too many positive experiences in it?
What if… the “perfect” relationship is not a destination, but a journey in itself?
Also, for the modern mind, some constraints would be welcome and an overview of the opportunities dependent on the environmental conditions. In a small commune, there is not much choice. People find their partners from what is available and, maybe owing to this natural scarcity of love stories, do their best to simply live happily, refraining from myths. Falling in love, in the “archetypical” sense of worship of the other, is a great experience. The whole life changes, the need of sleep diminishes, senses work more acutely, perception is more focused on the inner world, physical food becomes almost unnecessary, hardest stupidity of the acting mind gives way to actually living through and experiencing the flow of life/love.
There is a transformation, an alchemy of “daily” life into a mystery. We call it “falling” in love because it is an abyss. The most romantic books fail to hint what this phenomenon does to the individual. It is like two droplets of water put close to each other. A fraction of an inch closer, and their physical boundaries open up and join in a truly magical union. For a physician, surface tension changes just enough to make 1+1=1. A beautiful representation of what happens when you are truly in love. Surface tension changes. Only at the place of the connection, not anywhere else. The world is as it was before, but the door has opened to allow a very unique “other” in. Now the Love may begin.
Mistaking this magic moment for some mind-produced myth is sad. Myths are created by those who have not experienced this magic. If you really are in love and your inner world is alive for the first time, you don’t need words or stories. There is nothing to say. Everything is and you are in this fusion of two separate beings into one.
This is a very subtle experience, one that the “society” knows very little about. We hate to see it. Whenever you see a couple melting into each other, you rush to save them: “don’t fall in love, he/she will betray you”, “what do you see in him/her?”, “who are his/her parents?”, “don’t go to bed with him/her”, “what will neighbors say?”, “love is not enough, you need good work”, “what about school?”… We love to destroy these magical moments - because very very few of us has experienced them. But we feel within this power, and we know that this fusion is more important than anything else. That’s why we will go to extreme lengths to kill it in the bud. We poison this magical melting of love with love with thinking, theories, myths, gossip, plans for the future, warnings, threats…
We are so helpless about the magic of love that we must make sure to destroy it early on, when it is fresh, right before the two become one that is so strong that the world has to surrender.
And we succeed. These are very inexperienced souls, they will easily allow doubt, they will let parental or moral authority to destroy this indescribable experience. If it happens, they will long to these moments of fusion throughout their loves, all the time living with the fear that it will crumble anyway. The end result you can see everywhere: the world full of empty shells pretending to be living beings.
I’m almost speechless! You have beautifully and elegantly critiqued this post. That special “magical” love between a man and a woman is a divine gift. My wife and I, “high school sweethearts”, in just a few weeks will have been together for 46 years (married for 40 years). Every aspect of our relationship is better today than it was when we first met ... every aspect! Over nearly half a century, we have lived through all manner of unbelievable trial and tribulation. I still maintain that my greatest worldly blessing is my precious bride (always my girlfriend)! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!!
Your a lucky man, I have many in my family same-same the reason for ALL is that in all cases the kids came from DYSFUNCTIONAL familys and early on the partners made a vow to stick it out and give their children that which THEY NEVER HAD, a long term loving home.
Seems that the leading cause of 'relationship failure' is restless men & women, hard to say who is worse the tramp women who want to sleep around or the men who want to fuck around;
It takes a special couple to have an honest conversation about their future;
Also early on with my first wife, I learned quite well that even then it's a crap-shoot;
I recall when me&my first wife split up I asked her, "Why are you doing this, I thought it was forever, you promised", to which she cleverly replied "Promise are made to be Broken"
So how on god's earth can you make a vow or pledge with such a woman or man, who goes in with the intention of never keeping a pledge;
Again its a crap shoot, try to find same-same socio-economic, and all other factors;
People get bored, especially women, and men get bored when their wives start paying more attention to the kids;
I have seen a lot of relationships fail +50 when the kids are gone and couples are left home alone, and one of them decides to be an alley-cat;
There is no logistics, certainly most men&women aren't wired for monogamy on the long term;
Prior to the 1950's the USA black family had the lowest rate of divorce said to have been 97% success; Today 70% of black children live in father-less homes, the USA US-GOV welfare system destroyed the black family; But what made it work so well before it was destroyed??
“But what made it work so well before it was destroyed??”
Marriage is a covenant before and with GOD. Just as with our Constitution, remove God, destroy the foundation. No structure can stand without a firm foundation.
💯
46 years x 2 = 92 years of this unique experience - almost eternity in the age of text message dating. You are the blessed ones. That is so rare these days. Love to you both.
Aliens did not come down and warp human experience. What you see currently and throughout history is what humans do when being human. Your view of love may work for you, yet countless others beg to differ, and for good reason.
True, and this is the beauty of our experience of lifetime in this time and place. Everyone can interpret the life through his/her own perception and cognitive limits.
For the sake of the argument, our history extends 2-4 generations back. Everything “older” is only speculation based on records of artifacts which we cannot verify in any way other than comparing against other records or artifacts - which is basically insane :-)
As for aliens… whether they exist or not, and what they are, we have no idea and we cannot even guess. Maybe we are aliens in some evolved or corrupted form, who knows.
Finally, I didn’t say a word about love as an experience. My comment was on the labeling mechanism of the mind. We tend to be very uneasy in the presence of that which we are unable to name and, consequently, to assign some characteristics “known” to us. It’s one of the strongest foundations of all biases.
“Love as an experience”- c’mon now... *everything* is an *experience*. Tbh, your answer comes off as uneasy equivocation
Experience is very very rare. We spend most of our time projecting our internal structures on others, manipulating others to fit our imagination of the world, or zigzaging between what we desire and what is socially acceptable. Ask Madoff, Enron, Ponzi, FTX, Theranos, AIG, Lehman and other paragons of virtues.
Yes, projection sums up what you’re doing.
The mechanism of falling in love (and the related “love story”) of human beings is too complex to serve reproduction purposes. It seems to work on more layers. One of the most important is the alienation of the two persons from their cozy nests, or placing them at the starting point to create their own life paths. Another is the natural initiation into the spiritual realm where things are not what they seem, and multiple parallel meanings. Yet another is the opening of the insight sense, or the ability to “see through” other people and circumstances. Biology alone doesn’t need it.
... and all that remains is the soul, the true essence of who we are. The soul is eternal.
Well, we don’t know that, either. Is the body biological? Definitely, no. It is more. But what exactly is it? We don’t know, because we only can perceive the world through about two dozen senses that we are able to verbalize.
What do we miss? Apart from the obvious physical realms (electrical, magnetic), the most important stuff - the life mystery. We cannot even think about it, because our minds are not wired (or developed enough, or developed too much) to perceive anything smaller than say 0.5 mm. We cannot even perceive a huge natural phenomenon of fog, it disables all our senses right away.
As for the spiritual, it’s another name formed by the mind to call something that escapes the mind. It seems we are good at naming that which we cannot get hold of.
I like the saying that if you can put a label on something, it certainly is not what you think it is. Or, the “experience” starts only when you do not even try to find a name. And ends when you finally affix the name on it. Like with love, which ends when you say “I love you” - the experience dissipates, and the mind is clinging to it and naming it to have some reference when “it” is no more here.
“It’s like the saying that if you can put a label on something, it certainly is not what you think it is.”
A photograph of the magnificent Himalayas from Mount Everest base camp does not capture the incomprehensible beauty and grandeur of that moment and that place. It’s merely a visual time stamp.
I'd go way farther. We "love" to use words of unreachable experience: you are the love of my life (until I meet another), isn’t it beautiful, selfless, unconditional love (suggesting grades of love), great war (great in what?), great depression (oh, yes, it was), we’ll do it exactly because it cannot be done, no room for error, we’re all in this together, and more. All “great” speakers use these in their “great” speeches - they know our mind doesn’t have a clue what this is about, but it’s attractive, catchy, and offers a promise of becoming what others don’t even dream of. Comprehensible ugliness of blatant exploitation of the innocent. To get what we want at any cost, we even use Santa in our falsification of reality. And Copernicus, Darwin, Einstein, Freud, Plato, Shakespeare, Dante, Jung, you name it. We don’t discriminate when we want to cheat on those whom we perceive “inferior”.
Language is a fascinating tool that can make the observer more attentive and more aware and/or dumber and more isolated from reality, all in the same phrase. When there is no living awareness in the body, words won’t help, that “person” will always fall victim. With awareness awakened, experience and assessment come even before words are formulated, and then nobody can convince you or persuade you - the instinctive impression will always win and will be 100% accurate most of the time.
... and thus the divinity of marriage between a man and a woman.
"Marriage is an institution, and I have never wanted to live in a prison" - mae west
Hey, give it up people its not for everybody
My mom read Dr Peck and I read Dr Hollis and I married a woman with my moms first name
Nothing but truth here. The fine art and photography visuals are an added treat.
Well Said. We appreciate your content and work. Please continue to bring similar content in coming future.
Easy Peasy, just wrote a post on this topic yesterday about why most women are incapable of along term human relationship.
https://bilbobitch.substack.com/p/smelly-cunt-a-bitches-journey-into
Excuse the title, but women need to kiss a lot of frogs to find their prince, and poor pathetic men need to crawl into lots of smelly black holes to find their princess
As to WHY most relationships fail? Its because of 'expectations' and the solution is in the comments;
I SUGGEST VIEWERS OF THE ACADEMY OF IDEAS’ LIMITED, NEGATIVE PERSPECTIVE OF ROMANTIC LOVE READ THE BEST BOOK ON IT BY NATHANIEL BRANDEN: “THE PSYCHOLOGY OF ROMANTIC LOVE” AND THUS WILL NOT HAVE TO SUBSTITUTE AN IMAGINARY GOD FOR REAL HUMANITY AS THE AOI RECOMMENDS (WRONGLY, TO ME AS A HUMANIST AND PRACTITIONER OF ROMANTIC LOVE AS DEFINED BY BRANDEN).
“Let me state at the outset that I am writing from the conviction that romantic love is not a fantasy or an aberration but one of the great possibilities of our existence, one of the great adventures, and one of the great challenges. I am writing from the conviction that ecstasy is one of the normal factors of our emotional life, or can be.
I do not see romantic love as the prerogative of youth. Nor do I see it as some kind of immature ideal, inappropriately adapted from literature, that must crumble in the face of ‘practical reality.’ I do see romantic love as requiring more of us, in terms of our personal evolution and maturity, than we generally appreciate. Indeed, that is one of the central themes of this book.
“I shall argue that romantic love, rationally understood, is not an unattainable dream, an adolescent fantasy, or a literary invention. It is an ideal within our power to reach. But to reach it, we must first understand what love asks of us.
“Many of the commonest criticisms of romantic love are based on observing irrational or immature processes occurring between persons who profess to be ‘in love,’ and then generalizing to a repudiation of romantic love as such. In such cases, the arguments are not in fact directed against romantic love at all—not if one understands by romantic love ‘a passionate spiritual-emotional-sexual attachment between a man and a woman that reflects a high regard for the value of each other’s person.’
“Romantic love is not omnipotent—and those who believe it is are too immature to be ready for it. Given the multitude of psychological problems that many people bring to a romantic relationship—given their doubts, their fears, their insecurities, their weak and uncertain self-esteem; given the fact that most have never learned that a love relationship, like every other value in life, requires consciousness, courage, knowledge, and wisdom to be sustained—it is not astonishing that most ‘romantic’ relationships end disappointingly. But to indict romantic love on these grounds is to imply that if ‘love is not enough’—if love of and by itself cannot indefinitely sustain happiness and fulfillment— then it is somehow in the wrong, is a delusion, even a neurosis. Surely the error lies, not in the ideal of romantic love but in the irrational and impossible demands made of it.
“Romantic love is not a myth, waiting to be discarded but, for most of us, a discovery, waiting to be born.
“So we need to rethink our understanding of romantic love: what it means, what kind of experience it affords, what needs it fulfills, and what conditions it depends on. We need to see it of and by itself, as a unique encounter between man and woman, a unique experience and a unique adventure—possibly but not necessarily involving marriage, possibly but not necessarily involving children, possibly but not necessarily involving sexual exclusivity, possibly but not necessarily involving ‘till death do us part.’
“As we stand at this moment in history, we are in a state of crisis with regard to romantic love, not because the ideal is irrational but because we are still in the process of grasping its meaning, still in the process of understanding its philosophical presuppositions and its psychological requirements.”
From The Psychology of Romantic Love by Nathaniel Branden
https://www.amazon.com/Psychology-Romantic-Love-Anti-Romantic-Age/dp/1585426253/ref=sr_1_1
THEN ADD THIS, THE LESSON OF LOSS, TO ROMANTIC LOVE:
“The reality is that all relationships inevitably will be dissolved and broken. The ultimate price exacted for commitment to other human beings rests in the inescapable fact that loss and pain will be experienced when they are gone...It is a toll that no one can escape, and a price that everyone will be forced to pay repeatedly.”
From A Cry Unheard: New Insights into the Medical Consequences of Loneliness
https://www.amazon.com/A-Cry-Unheard-James-Lynch-audiobook/dp/B00SXJ9SQM/ref=monarch_sidesheet
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Love is dynamic as is respect. Love is based on principles. Marriage enhances it does put one in bondage. Thank you this is Love Ly!